FlingHub.com Review: Misleading Language Still Says SCAM

The Question

Chill Chuck who wants to sling schlong with a heaving hussy: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at FlingHub.com?”

Me: “FlingHub.com? Nothing to it, my good man! Here’s whatcha gotta do. First things first, warm up the ol’ pitching arm. Give it a couple of nice big circles. Maybe do that Phelps-y swimmer arm flappy thing. Get it nice and loosey-goosey. Next, you need to practice tossing a couple things. Pro tip, definitely avoid tossing your cookies. Nobody wants to see that. Okay, start with something easy, like, oh, a salad. Good work. Alright, now move on to something a bit more challenging. Let’s say, a bouquet. Who doesn’t like flowers? Good good. Nice toss. You should be warmed up and ready to throw for real now. So, lastly, you wanna wind that arm up nice and tight, like a tiger ready to pounce, and throw in the towel because you fucking don’t!”

What I’m saying is, you can toss any ideas about getting laid at FlingHub out the window because ain’t nobody getting their freak on at FlingHub.com.

But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with FlingHub.com?

There are many things that can be perceived as sucky. Things like, oh, mosquito bites, or getting a cold. Nobody likes those things. They suuuck.

In the world of online dating sites though, there are three sucky things that stand head and shoulders above the rest in the quest to be the suckiest things that suck in all of sucking. Those sucktastic three things are:

Fake members, fake profiles, and fake emails.

Not so coincidentally, you’ll find an abundance of the aforementioned three champions of suck at FlingHub.

Tell me more, Frankie.

Love to.

So, usually, scammy dating sites like to give their fake-ass profiles some kind of cutesy name. And right about now is when I usually fill you in on said name. FlingHub, however, gives so few fucks that they don’t even bother to name their bullshit profiles. Those unnamed bullshit profiles are sure as shit all over that motherfucker though.

But I want details!

With pleasure.

Let me begin by saying this:

Whenever you find yourself thinking, “Hey, this seems like a good dating site to join,” please, please, please do yourself a humongous fucking favor and read the terms and conditions of that site before you sign up. If nothing else, this is the one thing that you should take away from reading this FlingHub review.

The reason reading the terms is so important is simple. It’s the one place on a scammy dating site where you have a chance to find out the truth.

See, in order for these deceitful sites to continue getting away with their scams and not get in trouble with the law, they have to disclose just what kind of shit they’re pulling on their users. They do this in the terms and conditions.

And the reason they bury their bullshit in the terms (and don’t worry about doing so) is because they know two things:

One, they know that 99.9% of the people that go to their site and join never think to have even the most cursory glance at the terms and conditions.

And two, they know that whether a user of their site reads the terms or not, just by continuing to use their site, they’ve agreed to the site’s terms.

So, simply put, the scammy site is off the hook—even though they’re actively misleading users—and the user is sitting firmly on one. A hook, that is. It’s shitty, but unfortunately, that’s the way it is.

That’s why, I’ll say it again, you need to be sure to read the terms before you join a dating site. You have to look out for you.

Okay, enough with the preamble. Let’s look at some cold, hard, evidence.

Stepping into this shitshow at the eighth paragraph of section 1 of FlingHub’s terms, we see the following:

Our primary purpose is to provide an adult entertainment experience.

I always like to point out this whole bullshit “entertainment” angle when I see it. Why? Because legit dating sites don’t try and entertain you, they try and help you find a date. Keep that in mind when you’re out in online-dating-land.

Now hang on to your hat, because this is where the bullshit truly starts to reach epic proportions. Check this out…

This Website does not create user profiles, so called “virtual profiles” or use artificial intelligence in order to simulate people.

Well now, that sounds like the opposite of what we’re talking about, doesn’t it? Surely that must mean everything is hunky-dory on this particular dating site!

Wrong.

What it means is FlingHub has taken their art of bullshittery to a whole new level.

Their statement about not creating user profiles, or using artificial intelligence, to simulate people is a misdirect, plain and simple. “To simulate people” being the key part of the sham. But more on that in a second.

Now, we know the statement is a sham because they contradict themselves in the very next paragraph:

We create user profiles for use by our customer support representatives for the support, marketing, improvement of the Service, and in order for our Registered Users to experience the type of communications that they can expect as paying Members. Our customer support representatives are encouraged to speak with our members and also to stimulate conversation between members by making introductions or recommendations or just to chat with Users, for entertainment purposes. Additionally, the Website utilizes automated system profiles to communicate with Users to enhance our Users’ entertainment experience.

See, they say they don’t create profiles to “simulate people”, but rather for the noble pursuit of demonstrating to users what type of experience they can expect from the site. Thing is, users don’t know the difference. How would they?

Oh, maybe from this?

From time to time, and in our sole and absolute discretion, the Website’s created profiles and automated system profiles may be designated with a designated symbol.

Fuck that.

First of all, all they’re saying there is that they’ll add a symbol to their bullshit fake profiles if and when they feel like it. My guess is that’s never. What’s your guess?

Second, even with a symbol, these scammy dating sites make those little symbols so ambiguous that, even if you managed to notice the symbol, if you didn’t know that’s what you were looking at, you wouldn’t think twice about it. Think they do that on purpose? Exactly.

Now, just to hammer this home, have a little look-see at this next bit of tragi-comedy:

You acknowledge and agree that some of the profiles posted on the Website that you may communicate with as a Registered User may be fictitious. The purpose of our creating these profiles is to provide our Registered Users with entertainment, to allow Registered Users to explore our Service and to promote greater participation in our Service. The messages they send are computer generated. Messages from the user profiles we create attempt to simulate communications so that should you become a paid Member you are encouraged to participate in more conversation and to increase interaction among fellow paid Members.

Fucking cripes. Are you kidding me? They went from (I’m paraphrasing here, of course) “We don’t have fake profiles,” to “Don’t forget that you agreed to communicating with fake profiles.”

Man, let’s all take a breath here. This one is particularly infuriating.

There we go.

Okay, if you want to read more of their terms, head on over to their site and knock yourself out. That’s all I can stand here though. The point has been more than made, Id say.

Oh, one more thing…

I have to say, it’s entirely possible that many of these shady dating sites do have some real members on them. The trouble is, they clearly also have fakes. And, in my opinion, if a site has fake members that you can unwittingly interact with and think that you’re engaging with a real person, then that site does not have your best interests at heart. As I’ve said before, if a site has some fake profiles, they may as well all be fake.

I don’t believe you, Frankie!

You just want to see my head explode, don’t you?

I can only assume you’re fucking with me, but on the off chance that you’re still actually unconvinced, please direct your eyes back up this page and re-read all the stuff about the fictitious profiles.

Please continue to do that until it clicks in your head that the stuff you’re reading isn’t something that’s debatable, but rather is, in fact, fact.

Trust me when I tell you it feels so much better to not get scammed out of your time and money by an unscrupulous dating site than it does to get scammed.

So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?

Sign up to a legit dating site.

Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.

TL;DR

FlingHub.com? Nope. Scam.

Click here for legit dating sites instead.