The Question
Steady Eddie who wants some shaboogity with a sugary sweetie: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at HookupGirlfriends.com?”
Me: “HookupGirlfriends.com? Easy as pouring water in your drinkhole. Or something. Anyway, it’s simple. Whether you actually want a girlfriend, or you just want to grease your weasel, here’s what you do. First, go to the greeting card aisle at your local wherever-the-fuck-has-greeting-cards. Look for all the cards that mention a significant other of some sort. Partner, wife, girlfriend, that kinda thing. Doesn’t matter what section, by the way. Birthday, anniversary, get well, whatever. Next, read every card you find. Yes, all of them. Guess what? You now have information on how to behave with a woman in any situation. Sweet, right? Right. Now that you’re brimming with newfound knowledge, prepare to you fucking don’t!”
Speaking of cards, here’s a sympathy card for you. It says, “Sorry you wasted even a second of your time thinking you could get laid at HookupGirlfriends.com”
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with HookupGirlfriends.com?
What’s wrong is the same thing that’s always wrong with these bullshit dating sites.
Fucking fake members, fake profiles, and fake emails.
Tell me more, Frankie.
Oh, you bet I will.
“Fantasy Members”. That’s what you get at HookupGirlfriends. “Fantasy Members”.
Translation: More fake bullshit.
But I want details!
I was looking forward to this part.
First off, I have to say it is absolutely unbelievable to me just how fucking brazen these con artist bullshit dating sites are. Seriously. I sift through this garbage all the time so I can help you guys not get scammed, and it still baffles me. Zero fucks are given by these shafty sites, I tell you what.
Luckily, there’s one tactic that you can still use that at least gives you a fighting chance.
Here it is…
Before you even think of signing up to a dating site, read their terms and conditions.
Why? Because the terms and conditions are where you have a chance to find out the truth. To find out what kind of nefarious bullshit the site is trying to pull.
See, in order for these dating sites to cover their own asses and not get in legal trouble, they have to disclose what is actually happening on their site. Of course they don’t want to put the truth out in the open, so they bury it in the terms and conditions.
Hell, they don’t even worry that their bullshit is out there since they know that most people breeze on by the terms without giving them a second thought. They know that most people will autopilot check that little “I agree” box and be on their merry way.
Unfortunately for you, if you did check that little “I agree” box—even if you didn’t read the terms—the site gets to say that they told you exactly what kind of stunts they pull. Now they’re off the hook, and you just landed on a big one.
For the vast majority of sites on the internet, not reading the terms is not usually going to present much of a problem (not that I’m advocating skimming over any site’s terms, mkay?). But when the site you’re on doesn’t have your best interests in mind, that’s a whole other ball game. One you’re destined to lose.
Now how’s about a real-life example of what we’re talking about here?
I mean, if there was ever a good example of why you always need to read the terms and conditions before you sign up to any dating site, HookupGirlfriends is it.
Check out what you’d agree to by signing up to HookupGirlfriends…
Starting right up in Section 1.5. we see:
1.5. We use fantasy members (that is, virtual profiles) to stimulate interaction and conversations among users.
Honestly, we could stop right there and that should be enough to send you running in the opposite direction, but let’s have a look at one more little tidbit first. You know. Just because.
From section 7.2:
7.2. Does Hookup GirlFriends use virtual or fictitious profiles? Yes, we do. Some of the user profiles posted on this Website are fictitious, and are associated with our “Fantasy Member” (FM) service.
I think that oughta hammer things home.
Go read the rest of the terms if you like. Of course there’s more blah in there. I’ve certainly seen all I need to see though.
One more thing…
A question you may find yourself asking is, “Are all the members on HookupGirlfriends fake?”
To which my reply is, “Who cares?”
Seriously. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If there are some fake profiles on a site, they may as well all be fake profiles. The fact that there are any at all tell me all I need to know.
Bye fucking bye.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
Umm… Yeah, so I’m just gonna leave this right here:
Does Hookup GirlFriends use virtual or fictitious profiles? Yes, we do.
Read that line a few times, if need be. There’s no mystery to solve here, fellas.
It’s time to stop with the disbelieving of things that are facts.
Or don’t. Whatever. Up to you.
Okay, no seriously. Stop it.
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
HookupGirlfriends.com? Nope. Scam.
So glad you are telling the truth about these ugly sites. Its only about one thing…more money for them. You buy in at one level…now you have to upgrade pay even more just toget more computer generated bullshit.why a rent they all in prison?
Hey Mark.
I hear you, man. You hit it right on the nose. It’s messed up for sure. Those sites get away with some really shady stuff. Thanks for chiming in.