The Question
Swell swain who wants the treasure of a bootylicious beauty: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at LocalBooty.com?”
Me: “LocalBooty.com? Arr, that’d be easy as swingin’ the lead, matey. All ye gotta do is these three things. First, get balanced on yer peg-leg. Then, give yer parrot a proper fluffin’. Finally, and this be important, straighten yer goddamn cannon. Now that yer good and ready—and that means yer cannonballs better be loaded—you fucking don’t!”
Here’s the rub, my swashbuckling friend… Thinking you’re going to get laid at LocalBooty.com is even more ridiculous than talking like a pirate.
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with LocalBooty.com?
Ever heard the phrase, “bad things come in threes”?
Well, if you haven’t before, you have now. And here’s a shining example of that phrase in action:
Fake members. Fake profiles. Fake emails.
Three bad things you’ll find on LocalBooty.com.
Tell me more, Frankie.
You got it!
LocalBooty uses something they call, “Online Flirts”. This, of course, isn’t particularly fitting since it would require actual human beings to be “online” on their scamapalooza of a site to flirt with in the first place.
But I want details!
Details imminent…
Let’s follow our usual protocol here and head on over to the one place where it’s possible to dig out the truth from these con artists: The Terms and Conditions page.
Oh look! What do we have here in Section I.6.?
THIS SITE USES FANTASY PROFILES CALLED “ONLINE FLIRT®” In order to enhance your amusement experience, to stimulate you and others to use our Services more extensively, and to generally sprinkle some sparkle and excitement into the Services of LOCALBOOTY.COM, we may post fictitious profiles, generate or respond to communications by means of automated programs or scripts that simulate or attempt to simulate your intercommunication with another real human being (though none really exists and any dialog is generated by programming), and we may employ or contract for the paid services of real persons who may interact with you as part of their compensated employment.
But wait! There’s more!
While these communications may seem genuine, authentic, and personal, they may be broadcast simultaneously to a large number of persons and possess none of these qualities. While their contents may appear to be true, they may be quite false; while their contents may appear to sincere, they may be quite disingenuous.
That’s just fucking great.
Man, I know I’m repeating myself here, but goddamn! The size of the balls on these brazen scammy fuckers is awe-inspiring.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
Holy shit. If you don’t believe what’s laid out in this one…
I… I don’t even know what to say.
Seriously.
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
LocalBooty.com? Nope. Scam.
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