The Question
Lonely motherfucker who wants to hook up with a lonely wife: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at LonelyWifeHookup.com?”
Me: “LonelyWifeHookup.com? Sheeit, Mr. Lonely. I got you. First, take a deep breath. Okay? Good. Now, slowly step out from your lonely room. You’re doing great! You’re almost there. One last thing now. Ready? You fucking don’t!”
Trust me when I say you’re gonna stay lonely if you try and hook up with hot wives at LonelyWifeHookup.com.
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with LonelyWifeHookup.com?
Same story for you today. Fake fucking members, profiles, and emails. Great term for their fakery though (not really), so they got that going for them, which is nice.
Tell me more, Frankie.
Imagine, if you will, an island. One where all your dreams and wishes come true (but don’t). An island of fantasy, let’s call it.
This guy likes where we’re headed…
On this island are all sorts of hot women that want nothing more than to make the sweet nasty with you. We’ll call them Fantasy Cuties. Well, LonelyWifeHookup.com will.
Anyway, here’s the best (worst) part: All those Fantasy Cuties? Well they’re all goddamn robots (and hired help)!
In other words, all those Fantasy Cuties? The ones that interact with you on the site? Fucking fake. Fake-ity fake fake fake.
But I want details!
Details. Certainly, old chap!
Behold the friend of the common man! The beloved Terms of Service!
Click it. Scroll it. Section 4 it.
Some highlights for you…
4. FOR AMUSEMENT PURPOSES ONLY
And…
B. You comprehend, acknowledge, and accept that our Service, presented in the style of an online dating service, is an entertainment service. All content is provided for the entertainment and amusement of You.
And one more…
C. THIS SITE UTILIZES FANTASY PROFILES IDENTIFIED AS FANTASY CUTIES. You comprehend, acknowledge, and accept that some of the profiles listed on the Site may be operated by our Site or third party contractors and are fictitious.
There’s more of course. If you feel so inclined, go have a read and marvel at the size of the balls on these motherfuckers.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
I can only show you the facts.
But hey, you don’t wanna believe me? It’s your time and money.
Don’t mind the rest of us over here not getting scammed though. We’ll try and stay out of your way.
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
LonelyWifeHookup.com? Nope. Scam.
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