The Question
Daring Dick who wants to spread wings with a scrumptious crumpet: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at MeetBangNow.com?”
Me: “MeetBangNow.com? Hooboy! Easy. All you gotta do is know what time it is. You know, cuz you hafta know when now is. Meet, bang, NOW, ya dig? Easiest way to always know the time? Get a clock! But no ordinary clock. Ordinary clocks are for suckas. Since you’re a boss, you have to do it right. That’s why you gotta get a big Flavor Flav looking motherfucker and hang that shit from your neck on the thickest donkey rope you can get. Then, and only then, once you’re all kitted up with your new time-telling apparatus, all that’s left to do is you fucking don’t!”
Now. Later. Whatever. There’s no time like the present to tell you that, clock or no clock, you won’t be banging anybody at MeetBangNow.
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with MeetBangNow.com?
Let me put it to you this way…
MeetBangNow should change the three words in its name to FakeFakeFake.
As in, fake members, fake profiles, and fake emails.
Because that’s basically what their site is comprised of.
Tell me more, Frankie.
Love?
Great word. Great feeling.
Stars?
Also a great word. And beautiful. Gotta like them stars.
But when MeetBangNow puts them together? No thank you.
They can keep their swindly “Love Stars” the fuck to themselves.
But I want details!
Absolutely!
So, first things first…
Remember this: Whenever you want to know the truth about what’s happening on a dating site, all you have to do is read their terms and conditions. It’s that simple.
Think of the terms and conditions as a crystal ball. A crystal ball that lets you look into your future if you sign up to a dating site. The terms will show you all the ways a shady dating site will try and scam you out of your time and money.
Even though you know it pains them to do so, these deceitful dating sites have to air out their dirty laundry in the terms. Not for your benefit, of course, but for theirs. They spill the beans to cover their asses. See, whether you read them or not, the site gets to say they told you what was up. Then guess who’s off the hook?
Unfortunately, most people never read the terms, which is how these con artist sites continue to operate and rake in the loot.
The good news, however, is now you know exactly how to protect yourself from being duped!
Okay, back to the show…
Let’s check out MeetBangNow’s terms, so you can see what kinda garbage we’re talking about here.
Section 10 is where we find the shitshow:
All profiles are provided for the entertainment of our members and our users.
I’m guessing if you wanted to be entertained, you’d be on Netflix or some shit, not a dating site. So, red flag numero uno.
You understand, acknowledge, and agree that some of the user profiles posted on this site may be fictitious or models or bots related to our “Love Stars” ( ) program.
Oh look… “Love Stars” and fictitious in the same sentence. Surprised? Of course not.
Our LS work for the site in an effort to stimulate dialogue with users and to stimulate user participation on the Website and Services, advertisement of the Website and Services, and the creation of user profiles.
“Work for the site” is a pretty damning little phrase, no? Yes.
You understand, acknowledge, and agree that the information, text, and pictures contained in the LS profiles do not pertain to any actual person or member, but are included for entertainment purposes only.
More entertainment! Yay? No yay.
You further understand, acknowledge, and agree that, from time-to-time, LS may contact Website and Services users and members via electronic messaging, including for example, email, instant messages, and SMS, for purposes of encouraging further or broader participation in our site’s Services and/or to monitor user activity.
I don’t even…
You understand, acknowledge, and agree that no physical meeting will ever take place between you and LS, and that the exchange of messages between you and a LS is for entertainment purposes, as well as to encourage further or broader participation in our site’s Services and/or to monitor user activities.
Okay. Here’s what I have to say about all that…
Ho. Lee. Fucking. Shit.
Amazing that these sites can get away with fabricating profiles with the intention of bilking users, but there you have it.
Anyway, if you wanna read the complete terms, feel free. There’s always more bullshit to be found. That’s enough for me for today though. Point has been made.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
Nope.
I’m not hearing that from you today.
Just go have a nice re-read through the words I laid out for you up the page a little. Pay special attention to words like “fictitious” and “bots”.
All that shit from the terms are facts, not opinions. And facts aren’t things to be believed or not, they’re just, well, facts. Truths.
Now, I’d rather not have to bang my head against a wall today (it gets a little tiring), so I’m going to just go ahead and trust that everything has sunk in for you and you’re not going to be yet another poor soul to get shafted by a con artist dating site.
Ahh, much better.
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
MeetBangNow.com? Nope. Scam.
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