The Question
Super sensual stud who wants to romance the bone with a luscious lady: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at SensualMatches.com?”
Me: “SensualMatches.com? No trouble. First thing you gotta do is go get some good-smelling massage oil. Oh yeah. And some scented candles. Can’t forget those. And get some incense too, while you’re at it. Now lay out some fresh cut flowers. Spring fresh, muthafucka. Finally, spritz yourself with a little musky cologne. Can’t you already just smell the heady aromas flying through the air? Sensual, right? Yes. Now that the room is all aromatically sensualized, you fucking don’t!”
Here’s the thing, you have a better chance at taking a breath with your head in a bucket full of essential oils than you do at getting laid at SensualMatches.
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with SensualMatches.com?
For no particular reason, I’m telling you via poem today.
Ahem…
Let me see,
Could it be?
The same bullshit that comes in three?
Holy hell.
There is no doubt.
The three things that this scam’s about,
Are things to make you turn your tail,
Fake members, profiles, and emails.
Thank you, thank you. You’re too kind.
And just in case my kickass poetry didn’t get the point across…
What’s wrong with SensualMatches is the same scammy triple shot of garbage that’s always wrong with these scammy dating sites:
Fake members, fake profiles, and fake emails.
Tell me more, Frankie.
Sure thing.
This just in…
Today’s top story:
Yet another ridiculous term for bullshit is uncovered: “Fantasy Member”.
When asked about what they thought of yet another bullshit term, every single fucking person that responded said they’d like to say they were surprised, but they totally weren’t.
But I want details!
I got you. Here’s some details…
To some this is going to be brand new info, and to some it’s going to be old hat, but either way, the following remains true:
If you want to have any chance of finding out the truth about what’s going on on a dating site, you have to read the terms and conditions. The T&C is where the scams come to light.
Allow me to illustrate…
Let’s have a look at some choice bits from section 7:
7. Entertainment & Fantasy Service
That’s a helluva title for the section. Not what you want see.
7. 1. Will I really hookup using Sensual Matches?
Sensual Matches is an entertainment service. All profiles are provided for the entertainment of our members and our users. We do not guarantee that you will find a date or that you will meet any of our members in person or that any given person or profile manifested on the Website is available or interested in dating or communicating with you or anyone else.
That word “manifested” really sticks out there. Especially since it’s used in reference to profiles.
But wait! There’s more!
7. 2. Does Sensual Matches use virtual or fictitious profiles?
Yes, we do. Some of the user profiles posted on this Website are fictitious, and are associated with our “Fantasy Member” (FM) service.
Amazing.
You can go read more and see how they try and justify those good ol’ Fantasy Members, if you like. But the whole, do-you-use-fictitious-profiles-yes-we-do thing is enough for me.
Yeesh.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
Well, I don’t believe that you don’t believe me. How about that?
Yeah. That’s what I thought.
For reals though. They literally say “yes, we do” create bullshit profiles. That’s a tough one to dispute, no?
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
SensualMatches.com? Nope. Scam.
So I have been Scam, & what do I do about this scam,
can I get my money back,
Hey Phillip.
That sucks you got scammed. You can try going to their website and see if you can find a customer service link. Hopefully you have some luck with that and get your cash back.