The Question
Lusty lad who wants to take the first train to Bonetown with a luscious lady: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at ULust.com?”
Me: “ULust.com? Why, that’s as easy as one-two-three! One, U think about all the tasty things U want to do with your new hump-buddy. Two, U practice saying all the things U want to say to your new hump-buddy. Three, U fucking don’t!”
U gotta hear me when I say this: U will not be getting on the train to Bonetown at ULust station. Nobody will. (Also, fuck I hate spelling ‘you’ as ‘U’. That will end here.)
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with ULust.com?
Imagine you’re at a restaurant and you order your favorite meal. For the sake of argument, let’s say your favorite meal is a big juicy steak.
A few minutes pass and Mr. Waiter brings you the super sexy looking steak you ordered. You pick up your knife and fork, lick your lips, and dive in.
What the fuck?
When your knife and fork hit the “steak”, you realize it’s not a steak at all. It’s just a piece of plastic that’s made to look like a steak. Motherfucker! The steak is fake!
A fake steak means you won’t be eating any steak at all. There simply isn’t any steak to be had.
So, what’s a fake steak got to do with ULust, you ask?
Well, you have the same problem at ULust that you have at the imaginary restaurant. Only it’s not the steak that’s fake at ULust. It’s the members, profiles, and emails.
As in, fake members, fake profiles, and fake emails.
Fake sucks, folks. Fuck fake.
Tell me more, Frankie.
Okay. Here’s some more for you…
There’s nothing cute about talking to computer generated women. Even if they’re called “Fantasy Cuties”. Maybe even especially if they’re called “Fantasy Cuties”.
But I want details!
No problem. Happy to oblige.
Where do we go to find the truth? Where do we go to see how these shafty sites scam unsuspecting people? The Terms and Conditions page, that’s where.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, the T&C page should always be your first stop on any kind of dating or hookup site. That’s where you’ll find bullshit central buried in the legal mumbo-jumbo.
Let’s prove our point by heading down to section 4 of ULusts’s terms page…
4. FOR AMUSEMENT PURPOSES ONLY
Never a good start.
4.B. You comprehend, acknowledge, and accept that our Service, presented in the style of an online dating service, is an entertainment service. All content is provided for the entertainment and amusement of You. Our Site does not guarantee that You will find a date, partner, or participant, or that you will meet any member in person.
That puts a damper on things, now doesn’t it?
How about this?
4.C. THIS SITE UTILIZES FANTASY PROFILES IDENTIFIED AS FANTASY CUTIES. You comprehend, acknowledge, and accept that some of the profiles listed on the Site may be operated by our Site or third party contractors and are fictitious.
And one more bit, just for fun…
4.C.1. Interactions originating from Fantasy Cuties functionality could be computer generated or could be created by the Site or third party contractors hired by the Site.
Well sheeit! How ya like them apples?
Of course, there’s more blah in there. Always is. Feel free to check it out if you’re so inclined.
Fucked up, if you ask me. Which you didn’t, but I’m saying it anyway.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
Duuude.
Come on now. You’re fucking with me, right? Right?
No?
Well, I suppose you’re plenty old enough to be making your own decisions. Even if they make no sense in light of the stuff you just read two seconds ago. But totally your call.
We’ll be here for you when you’re done talking to robots.
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
ULust.com? Nope. Scam.
That explains so much and confirms suspicions I’ve had about the entire site. Thanks for the truth.
Hey Jacob.
No problem. Happy to help. Glad you didn’t get duped.
Fuckers got me before I did reviews 🙁 fighting to get a refund now.
Hey Bobby.
That sucks! Man, these shady sites blow. Making you fight for a refund. You shouldn’t have to deal with that nonsense. Hopefully you get your cash back. Thanks for letting people know your experience. It’s appreciated.