The Question
Regular bloke searching for a tasty tomato for the bang bang bang: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at FreeHookupSearch.com?”
Me: “FreeHookupSearch.com? Oh ho ho! ’Tis a simple answer to your query. Follow me… Put your left foot in. Now put your left foot out. Still with me? Good good. Now put your left foot in again. Nice nice. You’re doing great. Now you fucking don’t!”
While it’s true that there’s a lot of hokey-pokey going on at FreeHookupSearch.com, there sure as hell ain’t no hanky-panky.
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with FreeHookupSearch.com?
What we got here is a good old fashioned Triple Fake Fuckaround.
What’s a Triple Fake Fuckaround you ask?
Well, it goes a little something like this…
Fake members. Fake profiles. Fake emails.
Tell me more, Frankie.
Gladly.
Here’s a question for you…
Do you think a site that uses fictitious profiles called “Fantasy Members” has your best interest in mind?
I’ll just go ahead and answer that for you.
The answer is a resounding NO!
But I want details!
Yes! Details!
I was actually looking forward to this part, it’s so ridiculous.
Prepare yourself for much head-shaking as we zip on down to section 7 of the Terms of Use.
Let’s begin with the title of the section itself:
7. Entertainment & Fantasy Service
“Hmm…,” says brain. “That doesn’t sound like it’s real life. I wonder if I can actually hook up there. I’ll keep reading.”
7. 1. Will I really hookup using Free Hookup Search?
Free Hookup Search is an entertainment service. All profiles are provided for the entertainment of our members and our users. We do not guarantee that you will find a date or that you will meet any of our members in person or that any given person or profile manifested on the Website is available or interested in dating or communicating with you or anyone else.
“That does not sound promising,” says brain. “Surely there must be a chance I could hookup with somebody though. It’s not like they use fictitious profiles. Do they?”
7. 2. Does Free Hookup Search use virtual or fictitious profiles?
Yes, we do. Some of the user profiles posted on this Website are fictitious, and are associated with our “Fantasy Member” (FM) service.
“Well, shit.” Brain is sad.
Of course there’s more. There’s always more. But really, I think we can probably all agree that’s enough.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
Oof. You’re on your own on this one.
If what you just read isn’t enough to turn that light bulb on for you, then just go on and have yourself a super time getting entertained at FreeHookupSearch.
Super duper, in fact.
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
FreeHookupSearch.com? Nope. Scam.
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