InstaShag.com Review: Disturbing Proof Of A Scam In Action

The Question

Cheeky Charlie who wants to get knees up with a brill bird: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at InstaShag.com?”

Me: “InstaShag.com? Easy peasy. You just have to think like a scout and be prepared! Prepared to what? Shag. In an instant. Cuz… you know. Anyhoo… To keep yourself in an ever-ready state of preparedness, just follow these three simple rules. Rule numero uno, always keep a pair of sensible shoes by the door. Sensible meaning ones that you can fire on to your feet at a moment’s notice. You gotta be able to zoom out the door and get to wherever the shagging is going to be taking place post haste. Rule number two, always, and I mean always, have some instant cocoa on hand. Why? Because everybody likes some goddamn hot cocoa, that’s why. Rule number three, something something instant something. Whatever. You fucking don’t!”

Here’s the thing… What you’ll get at InstaShag is basically the exact opposite of instant gratification. No gratification at all.

But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with InstaShag.com?

Well, besides the name—which should really be something more along the lines of NeverShag—I’d have to say what’s most wrong with InstaShag is the same thing that’s most wrong with just about every other shady “dating site” out there:

Fake members, fake profiles, and fake emails!

Otherwise known as the trifecta of dating site bullshit!

So, yeah. That.

Tell me more, Frankie.

Certainly!

While it may seem difficult to imagine disliking anything called a “Love Star”, trust me when I tell you that you most definitely will. Dislike “Love Stars”, that is.

So much so, were you to be given half a chance, I have no doubt you’d emphatically tell said self-proclaimed Stars of the Love to go fuck themselves right in the drive-through.

But I want details!

You betcha! Details coming up!

Let me begin by sharing with you the absolute most important thing that I can share with you about dating sites. It is this:

Whenever you find yourself about to sign up to a new dating site—no matter how reputable they may seem, no matter how enticing they make themselves out to be—before you hit that join button, always, always, always, read the terms and conditions first.

That one bit of advice, as a matter of fact, is so important that if it’s the only thing you take away from reading this InstaShag review, then fucking fantastic. We’ve done good work here today.

Seriously.

Now I’ll tell you why.

Whether you read the terms or not, simply by continuing to use a website, you’re bound to the terms that they’ve set out. Most of the time, this isn’t an issue because most of the websites that you come across in your day to day aren’t scammy pieces of shit.

The trouble arises when you have websites that have ulterior motives. Sites that are trying to make themselves out to be something that they aren’t, for the sole purpose of trying to extract as much cash as they can from unsuspecting consumers.

Unfortunately, from the “face” of a site, it can be pretty much impossible to tell whether or not they’re legit. That’s why it is imperative that you always read the terms and conditions. Because the terms and conditions are where you have a chance to find out the truth about a site. A chance to see if they’re trying to pull a fast one.

Now, just to be clear, these shifty sites that we’re talking about aren’t airing their dirty laundry in their terms because they want to. No, they do it to cover their own asses from any legal ramifications. The reason they don’t worry about disclosing their bullshit in the terms, however, is because they know that 99.9% of people just whiz on by the terms without giving them a second of thought.

How it all ends up playing out looks like this: the website user is bound to whatever nonsense they unwittingly agreed to by not reading the conditions that were laid out, and the scammy motherfucker website is off the hook and laughing all the way to the bank.

Now that you know the game (and how to beat it), how about we look at some real life examples of what we’re talking about. The following steaming hot turds come right from InstaShag’s very own terms and conditions.

From Section 10:

Please note that the Website and Services are an entertainment service. All profiles are provided for the entertainment of our members and our users.

Okay, so, that right there? That “entertainment service” nonsense? Always a red flag. If you see that, be on guard. You want to know where you don’t find that kind of silly-speak? Legitimate dating sites. That’s where.

Moving on…

You understand, acknowledge, and agree that some of the user profiles posted on this site may be fictitious or models or bots related to our “Love Stars” ( ) program.

There it is, folks. The one sentence that obliterates the credibility of any dating site. You see a site mention that they utilize fictitious profiles, just head the other way. Cover blown. Game over.

That said, just cuz we’re here, let’s see some more of this gong show…

Our LS work for the site in an effort to stimulate dialogue with users and to stimulate user participation on the Website and Services, advertisement of the Website and Services, and the creation of user profiles.

And…

You understand, acknowledge, and agree that the information, text, and pictures contained in the LS profiles do not pertain to any actual person or member, but are included for entertainment purposes only.

And…

You further understand, acknowledge, and agree that, from time-to-time, LS may contact Website and Services users and members via electronic messaging, including for example, email, instant messages, and SMS, for purposes of encouraging further or broader participation in our site’s Services and/or to monitor user activity.

And one more for kicks…

You understand, acknowledge, and agree that no physical meeting will ever take place between you and LS, and that the exchange of messages between you and a LS is for entertainment purposes, as well as to encourage further or broader participation in our site’s Services and/or to monitor user activities.

I told you that you weren’t gonna like “Love Stars”.

Anyway, if you feel the need, go read the rest of their terms at their site. There’s always more nonsense to be found. I think we have enough covered here though to confidently say fucking fuck that noise.

Jeez, this shit makes me shake my head.

I don’t believe you, Frankie!

Oh, really? Well… uh… I don’t care.

Okay, fine. I do care. I can’t just leave you to wander off thinking you can decide to not believe facts. Facts are indisputable, my man. Truths not to be trifled with.

So, here’s what I’m asking you to do:

Head on up this page a little and re-read the bit about the fictitious profiles. Let it marinate in your head for a bit. That shit will sound a big fat alarm once it sinks in.

Then, with your newfound knowledge, revel in the fact that you very cleverly avoided being one more dude who got shafted by some scumbag “dating” site.

So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?

Sign up to a legit dating site.

Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.

TL;DR

InstaShag.com? Nope. Scam.

Click here for legit dating sites instead.