The Question
Smooth operator who wants to hookup with a mega babe-a-rino: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at MegaHookup.com?”
Me: “MegaHookup.com? Nothing to it! First, you have to get yourself into the mega mindset. Think mega big thoughts. Think of mega big words. Here, I’ll help… Humongous! Gigantic! Fucking COLOSSAL! Then, once you’re mega stoked, you look straight at MegaHookup, squint up your eyes all determined-like, and you fucking don’t!”
You’re gonna be mega disappointed if you think you’re actually gonna get laid at MegaHookup.com.
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with MegaHookup.com?
Oh, just the usual pyramid of fakeness.
As in, fake members, fake profiles, fake emails.
Breaking news!
This just in… Nobody’s surprised.
Tell me more, Frankie.
You betcha!
It’s been a minute since we’ve seen this bullshit term, but here it is again:
The “Love Stars” are back!
But I want details!
Here are some tasty details for you, friend…
In Section 10 of the Terms and Conditions you’ll find the following:
Please note that the Website and Services are an entertainment service.
Calling a site that’s being pitched as a hookup site an “entertainment service” is always a red flag.
Strong start, MegaHookup. What else you got?
You understand, acknowledge, and agree that some of the user profiles posted on this site may be fictitious or models or bots related to our “Love Stars” (LS) program. Our LS work for the site in an effort to stimulate dialogue with users and to stimulate user participation on the Website and Services, advertisement of the Website and Services, and the creation of user profiles.
Boom! There it is. That “fictitious” word that seems to have a nasty habit of showing up on all these scamtacular fucking sites’ terms and conditions page.
How about a little more sugar, MegaHookup?
You understand, acknowledge, and agree that no physical meeting will ever take place between you and LS, and that the exchange of messages between you and a LS is for entertainment purposes, as well as to encourage further or broader participation in our site’s Services and/or to monitor user activities.
Ooo, yummy.
Seriously though. What a load of fucking nonsense.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
To paraphrase and age-old idiom:
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it think.
Come on. Be a thinky horse! Re-read the T&C. That shit is real. The words mean things.
Or you know, go play with some fake stars. The choice, as always, is yours.
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
MegaHookup.com? Nope. Scam.
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