The Question
Player who wants to call upon a fine female for a trip to boinktown: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at XXXBlackbook.com?”
Me: “XXXBlackbook.com? Ayyy, it’s so easy, Potsie could do it. First you gotta get yourself a nice leather jacket like the Fonz. Nice. Now pop that collar. Perfectamundo. Time for some mood music. Give the jukebox a whack. All set. Now sit on it, because you fucking don’t!”
You should go try to find your thrill on Blueberry Hill because you sure as hell ain’t gonna find it at XXXBlackbook.
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with XXXBlackbook.com?
Since I’m apparently on a Happy Days kick at the moment (for exactly zero reason at all, by the way), how’s about we sing the reason to the tune of the Happy Days theme song? And away we go…
Sunday, Monday, fake members.
Tuesday, Wednesday, fake profiles.
Thursday, Friday, fake emails.
The weekend comes, scammy scum,
Trying to fuck with you!
Tell me more, Frankie.
Here’s more…
More fantasy profiles, that is!
This time they’re called “Sweethaarts”. And that’s not a typo. That’s how they actually spell it. Ugh.
You know, these sites can dress up their scamtacular crap with whatever nonsense terms they want, but it always ends up meaning the same thing. Scam.
But I want details!
Well then, how about some details for you?
Lucky for us, we know where to go to find out the truth. The terms and conditions page! The one beacon of light in the murky waters of every hookup site out there.
A little aside…
Don’t be mistaken. These sites don’t lay this stuff out on the T&C page out of the kindness of their hearts. They do it because they need to cover their asses. Basically, they have to include the parts about their deceptive bullshit so they don’t get in da poopoo.
Anyway, onward!
Section 4.K. is where we find the nonsense today.
For Entertainment Purposes
Sweethaarts Service:
This site uses fantasy profiles called ‘Sweethaarts’ which do not correspond to actual members.
You understand, acknowledge, and agree that some of the profiles used on this site may be fictitious and operated by site administrators and or its contractors. Nothing contained in a Sweethaart Profile is intended to describe or resemble any real person, and is included on the Website for your personal enjoyment or entertainment. If you respond to, or initiate any communications or interactions with Sweethaarts it will not result in a physical meeting between the Sweethaart and You.
They also say that they “conspicuously” label the Sweethaart profiles with a “Sweethaarts logo”. To which I say, “Who fucking cares?” Labelled or not, it means the site is littered with FAKE profiles.
And any time a site is creating fake profiles that they use to interact with users on their site, I say just keep on walking.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
Come on, man.
Fake profiles are bad, mkay? And that shit is in black and white, like, just a little teensy bit above the words you’re reading right now.
But, if you gotta, then you gotta. We’ll keep a sombrero warm for you. You know, for when you come back.
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
XXXBlackbook.com? Nope. Scam.
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