The Question
Chill Charlie who wants some casual nookie with a milftacular missus: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at CasualMilfs.com?”
Me: “CasualMilfs.com? No trouble, Barney Rubble. The trick here is you gots ta chill. Don’t get riled, you know? Keep it casual. Smooth. Groovy like a drive in movie. What’s that now? How do you do that? Damn, son. Calm down. Keep it light, my man. Easy breezy. To be chill all you gotta do is chill. Take a deep breath or three. Zen up. Tai chi that motherfucker. Find your peace, brother. Then, when you’re as chill as you can possibly be while still standing upright, you fucking don’t!”
What I’m saying is… You can be more chill than Ice T drinking ice tea on casual Friday and you still won’t be getting laid at CasualMilfs.com.
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with CasualMilfs.com?
What if you bought a Rolex and then found out it was fake? I bet you’d be pretty upset.
How about if someone gave you a hundred dollar bill and then you found out that was fake too? Probably not a stretch to say you wouldn’t be a happy camper.
Know why?
Because fake sucks.
Okay, so what if you signed up to a dating site and then found out it was lousy with fake members, fake profiles, and fake emails?
I think we know the answer.
Tell me more, Frankie.
Ho-lee shit.
More fucking “Online Cupids”.
Goddamn those things are everywhere.
But I want details!
And I’m gonna give ‘em to you!
Alrighty! If you’ve been here before, this is gonna be broken record time. If you haven’t, then listen up cuz this is pro tip stuff coming up.
Any time you’re thinking of signing up to a dating site that you’ve found, make sure you read the terms and conditions first.
Lemme say that again, real plain like…
Pro tip: Always read the terms and conditions on a dating site BEFORE signing up!
Why?
Because the terms and conditions is where you find out if a site is engaging in any fraudulent activity. Any scams. Any tricks to try and dupe you into thinking that something is happening when it actually isn’t.
Basically, if a site is trying to con you into thinking that you’re interacting with a real live interested lady when in reality you’re talking to a robot, or better (worse?) yet, someone who’s paid to interact with you, you’ll find out in the terms and conditions.
Knowing that kind of info before you waste your time creating an account is a good thing. You can save yourself from an assload of unnecessary nonsense.
So, with all that said, let’s get specific with the site du jour and see just what kind of crapola is happening at CasualMilfs.
From section 9 of their terms:
9. FOR AMUSEMENT PURPOSES ONLY
Banner start. Yeesh.
Moving on…
9.b. You understand and accept that our site, while built in the form of a personals service, is an entertainment service. All profiles are provided for the amusement and entertainment of our members and our users. You are not guaranteed that you will find a date, a companion, or an activity partner, or that you will meet any of our members in person.
Riiight.
And Cupid time.
9.c. THIS SITE USES FANTASY PROFILES CALLED ONLINE CUPIDS®: You understand, acknowledge, and agree that some of the user profiles posted on this site may be fictitious and operated by the Site or its contractors.
So many Cupids.
9.c.i. Messages sent from our Online Cupids® service may be automatically generated with no human involvement, and Online Cupids® messages and/or correspondence may be generated by third-parties hired or contracted by Us.
One more snippet for you…
9.c.ii. You understand, acknowledge, and agree that the information, text, and pictures contained in the Online Cupids® service profiles do not pertain to any actual person, but are included for entertainment and educational purposes only. Life events, experiences, interests, and geographic locations are fictitious. Nothing contained in any Online Cupids® service profile or message is intended to describe or resemble any real person – living or dead.
I realize reading the terms is even less exciting than watching paint dry, but if you wanna read the rest of them, head on over to their site and fill yer boots.
I’d say we’ve covered a pretty good selection of lowlights to hammer home what we’ve been talking about though. Certainly more than enough for me to smell the stink of grade A scambone.
And believe me when I tell you that scambone do stink.
Don’t just plug your nose. Walk the fuck away.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
First off…
I mean, dude. Come on.
Second off… A little exercise to remedy this denial of the facts.
- Go re-read the words up there. All the stuff about the fictitious profiles and whatnot.
- Ask yourself if you believe me.
-
If your answer is yes: Go ahead and enjoy your day, confident in the knowledge that you learned something and you’re not about to get scammed by some unscrupulous fuckers.
If your answer is no: Go back to Step 1 and repeat the steps until your answer is yes.
That is all.
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
CasualMilfs.com? Nope. Scam.
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