The Question
Sneaky Pete who wants get down and dirty on the down low with a wanton wife: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at CheatingHouseWife.com?”
Me: “CheatingHouseWife.com? Easy. A little sleight of hand oughta do it. First you gotta go and get yourself a top hat. What? I don’t know from where. The top hat store? Just get one. Then you go and get yourself a rabbit. Ugh. It doesn’t matter if your co-op is no pets allowed. Come on, man. Now, put your top hat on the table and, without anybody watching, take that nice little rabbit and put him in your new top hat. Good. Okay, now wave your hands over the top hat while you say abracadabra. Perfect. You’re ready now. Reach into that ol’ top hat and pull yourself out a nice fuzzy you fucking don’t!”
Here’s the thing… Even if you’re a magician, the one trick you’re never pulling off is getting laid at CheatingHouseWife.com.
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with CheatingHouseWife.com?
Here’s a trick that I’m sure a lot of people wish they had seen coming…
The ol’ fake members, fake profiles, and fake emails super bamboozler!
Tell me more, Frankie.
Sure!
Lemme just hit the replay button…
“Online Cupids”!
Yup. Again.
But I want details!
With pleasure.
Since we just hit the replay button on the “Online Cupids”, which you’ll read more about in just a second, why don’t we hit the replay button on this little pro tip:
Always check the terms and conditions!
Any time you’re thinking of signing up for a dating site, read the terms and conditions first. That’s where you’re going to cut through all the shiny bullshit on the face of the site and get to the facts. Facts that will save you from getting scammed.
Allow me to illustrate my point with the site we’re talking about today.
When we get to section 9, we see this:
9. FOR AMUSEMENT PURPOSES ONLY
Hmm… you may like to be amused, but…
9. b. You understand and accept that our site, while built in the form of a personals service, is an entertainment service. All profiles are provided for the amusement and entertainment of our members and our users. You are not guaranteed that you will find a date, a companion, or an activity partner, or that you will meet any of our members in person.
Yeah. That was the but.
And here come da Cupids!
9. c. THIS SITE USES FANTASY PROFILES CALLED ONLINE CUPIDS®: You understand, acknowledge, and agree that some of the user profiles posted on this site may be fictitious and operated by the Site or its contractors.
A little more…
9. c. ii. You understand, acknowledge, and agree that the information, text, and pictures contained in the Online Cupids® service profiles do not pertain to any actual person, but are included for entertainment and educational purposes only. Life events, experiences, interests, and geographic locations are fictitious. Nothing contained in any Online Cupids® service profile or message is intended to describe or resemble any real person – living or dead.
There’s always more. Go read the rest if you like. But all that stuff above paints the picture vividly enough for me.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
Do you believe me…
NOW?
I’m sticking pretty hard to the magic thing today, I know.
Anyhoo, just trying to save you some time and frustration. If you need to learn your own lesson, no problemo. Have fun. The rest of us will be here when you’re done “learning”.
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
CheatingHouseWife.com? Nope. Scam.
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