The Question
Wily Willy who wants a discreet treat with a lusty lady: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at DatingAffair.com?”
Me: “DatingAffair.com? Simple as ABC. Check it out. A is for amazing. As in, think of the most amazing thing that you can do. Doesn’t matter what. You juggle? Perfect. Riverdance? Great. Whatever you got, just keep it in mind, ready to unleash. Next. B is for badass. As in, make sure that whatever amazing thing you do gets done like a badass. You know, with a little attitude. Sell that shit! You’re amazing, remember? Now C. C is the key. Ready? C is for you fucking don’t!”
I know, I know. That last thing didn’t start with a C at all! That don’t make no sense. Well, neither does thinking you’re going to get laid at DatingAffair.
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with DatingAffair.com?
There are three things that are everywhere in the world of shady dating sites:
Fake members, fake profiles, and fake emails.
Let’s just say that a site that rhymes with ShmatingShmaffair is part of that world.
Tell me more, Frankie.
Alrighty!
I’m telling you, there are more of these goddamn things flying around than there are mosquitos.
Oh, and they’re easily more annoying.
Motherfucking “Online Cupids”.
Again.
But I want details!
One order of details coming up!
Dating sites that operate without their customers’ best interests in mind like to hide away the truth about what’s actually happening on their sites. Why wouldn’t they? They bank on the idea that no one is actually going to find out what’s really going on behind the scenes.
They count on dudes being blinded by boobies. That they’ll just sign up without doing their due diligence.
But we know their secret. We know where they hide the truth.
It’s actually hiding in plain sight.
You know what no one ever bothers to read? The terms and conditions.
And the terms and conditions is the one place you have any chance at all of finding out whether or not a site is trying to dupe you.
Now, how about a living, breathing example?
If you’d kindly direct your attention to section 9 of DatingAffair’s terms and conditions…
9. FOR AMUSEMENT PURPOSES ONLY
Warning shots fired!
Let’s continue, shall we?
9.b. You understand and accept that our site, while built in the form of a personals service, is an entertainment service. All profiles are provided for the amusement and entertainment of our members and our users. You are not guaranteed that you will find a date, a companion, or an activity partner, or that you will meet any of our members in person.
Erm…
9.c. THIS SITE USES FANTASY PROFILES CALLED ONLINE CUPIDS®: You understand, acknowledge, and agree that some of the user profiles posted on this site may be fictitious and operated by the Site or its contractors.
Fictitious ain’t delicious, if you catch my drift.
More…
9.c.i. Messages sent from our Online Cupids® service may be automatically generated with no human involvement, and Online Cupids® messages and/or correspondence may be generated by third-parties hired or contracted by Us.
And one more highlight (lowlight?) for good measure…
9.c.ii. You understand, acknowledge, and agree that the information, text, and pictures contained in the Online Cupids® service profiles do not pertain to any actual person, but are included for entertainment and educational purposes only. Life events, experiences, interests, and geographic locations are fictitious. Nothing contained in any Online Cupids® service profile or message is intended to describe or resemble any real person – living or dead.
Pretty enlightening shit, no?
Go read the rest of the blah on their terms page if you’re in the mood. I’ve had my fill though. I don’t think things could get any clearer.
Fuck to the no.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
Really?
Cuz, you know… all the words and stuff up there. They all mean things. Especially when they’re strung together in a particular order.
Wait a second. You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?
Yeah you are! Good one! You had me there for a sec.
Hmm…
Just in case you’re not fucking with me…
Go re-read all them word things I put up there. Read ‘em until they sink in.
Hell. Once they’re all sunk in, read ‘em one more time.
If you still don’t believe me, well, I suppose that’s your prerogative.
Seriously though. You’re fucking with me, right?
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
DatingAffair.com? Nope. Scam.
Leave a Reply