The Question
Regular dude who wants some of that easy breezy sex with a chill chiquita: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at EasySex.com?”
Me: “EasySex.com? Oh my god. It’s literally so easy. You literally can’t get any easier, it’s so easy. Like, if it was any easier to do, you literally wouldn’t have to do anything at all. Literally, the only thing easier is to literally do literally nothing. Anyway, what I’m saying is, it’s pretty easy to get laid at EasySex. First, all you gotta do is ease on down the road. Then right when you’ve arrived at Easy Street, you fucking don’t!”
In other words, it’s not difficult to see that you won’t be getting easy anything at EasySex.com.
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with EasySex.com?
Allow me to spell it out for you.
F-A-K-E members.
F-A-K-E emails.
F-A-K-E profiles.
It’s always the same goddamn story.
Tell me more, Frankie.
Looky, looky! Yet another name for a bullshit cocktail: Online Regents!
I bet you can guess what Online Regents do!
But I want details!
Why certainly, old chap!
Let’s dive right into the usual truth-teller, the Terms and Conditions!
We’re gonna zoom on down to Section 14 where we find:
14. ONLINE REGENTS: easysex.com UTILIZES VIRTUAL PROFILES THAT DO NOT CORRESPOND TO ACTUAL MEMBERS
Umm… great.
Then in the subsections of Section 14 we get some more details (just like you wanted!) How about this one?
14.2 An ONLINE REGENT may be a digital actor, an avatar or a synthespian (e.g. a computer generated “person” or “character”). ONLINE REGENTS may be employed by easysex.com or a third party to enhance Your online experience.
Or this bit from subsection 14.3:
You acknowledge that You understand that some of the profiles and Members displayed on them are not actual members of the site. ONLINE REGENTS are not associated with any other user of the site, but are sent to You in an effort to promote broader enjoyment, additional activity and fuller participation in all our Services.
All super peachy.
Before we go on…
Let me preface this next bit by saying that the following is in NO WAY an endorsement of EasySex.com. The site, as far as I’m concerned, is still 100% NOPE material.
That said, just to be fair and give these fuckers a teensy tiny bit of credit, they do also say in their T&C that you can unsubscribe or request not to participate in the Online Regent service by contacting them.
Of course, you have to actually send them an email and ask them to discontinue the “service”. I mean, why make it easy and give you the option to lose the Online Regents nonsense on the site itself (or not be shady to begin with, but I digress)? It’s not like they have “easy” in the name of their site or anything. Oh, right. They do.
Anyhoo… Presumably, they honor your request. It’s still weak, in my not so humble opinion, but it’s something. I guess.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
Blarghargleargh!
Happy now? That was my brain mushifying. That’s right. Mushifying.
Listen, the Terms and Conditions tell no lies, brotha! But I suppose you gotta do what you gotta do.
Don’t worry, we’ll still be here for you when your foray into scamtown is over. Just don’t say you weren’t warned when you get back.
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
EasySex.com? Nope. Scam.
I understand respect
Hey Brent. No sweat. Hope this helped.