The Question
Regular feller who wants some extracurricular activity with a foxy cupcake: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at HookupAffair.com?”
Me: “HookupAffair.com? Easy breezy. You’ll like this one. First things first, go and get yourself a good old fashioned fishing pole. Nothing fancy. Nice and plain will do. Next, you need to write a short note on a small piece of paper. This is what you write: “Hookup?” See? Very short. Now you attach that piece of paper to the hook. Make sure it’s really on there. You don’t want it flying off. Now for the best part. Make your way over to a street where there’s a bus stop on the opposite side. Now you just wait until a sexy mama is waiting for the bus, cast you line across the street, and you fucking don’t!”
You’ve been taken hook, line, and sinker if you think that you, or anybody else, is hooking up at HookupAffair.
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with HookupAffair.com?
This is Blinky. He has three eyes.
Blinky isn’t what you’ll find at HookupAffair.
But here are three equally awful things that you will:
Fake members. Fake profiles. Fake emails.
Tell me more, Frankie.
You betcha!
It’s been a minute since we’ve seen ‘em, but here they are again, flapping their little wings all the way from Scamtown!
It’s nobody’s favorite, “Online Cupids”!
But I want details!
Sure! Here are some details!
Less scrupulous dating sites are well known for trying to deceive their members with all sorts of trickery. One of the most common cons is the whole fake members thing I mentioned a minute ago. A site will create fake members to interact with you in hopes of getting you to upgrade to a paid membership. On a reputable site, paying for a membership is a good move. On a scammy site it absolutely is not a good move.
So, the question then becomes: How do you tell if a site is scammy?
Well, that brings us to the terms and conditions page.
The first thing I tell people to do on any dating site that they’re thinking of signing up to is check the terms and conditions page.
Why? Some of you may ask.
Because that, my friends, is where the truth is.
For example, let’s look at section 8.e. on HookupAffair’s T&C page…
8.e. This Service is for Amusement Purposes, only.
Not a good start.
8.e.i. You understand and accept that our site, while built in the form of a personals service, is an entertainment service. All profiles are provided for the amusement and entertainment of our members and our users. You are not guaranteed that you will find a date, a companion, or an activity partner, or that you will meet any of our members in person.
Also not so good.
8.e.ii. Online Cupids® Communications: You understand, acknowledge, and agree that some of the user profiles posted on this site may be fictitious, and are associated with our “Online Cupids®” service. Such profiles are designated with the following logo (An Online Cupid” logo goes here). Our Online Cupids® service is part of Our efforts to stimulate conversation with users, in order to encourage further and broader participation in all of our Site’s services, including the posting of additional information and/or pictures to the users’ profiles. As further explained below, initial messages from our Online Cupids® service may be automatically generated with no human involvement, and, messages and/or correspondence thereafter may be generated by third-parties hired or contracted by Us.
Key bit there: “some of the user profiles posted on this site may be fictitious”.
Finally, here’s a little more from the same subsection:
The Online Cupids® service is also intended to proactively monitor user activities and communications to ensure compliance with Our Terms and Conditions. You understand, acknowledge, and agree that the information, text, and pictures contained in the Online Cupids® service profiles do not pertain to any actual person, but are included for entertainment purposes only. Nothing contained in any Online Cupids® service profile is intended to describe or resemble any real person – living or dead.
Of course, there’s more stuff to check out in all that legal mumbo-jumbo. And by all means, if you’re so inclined, go and read the rest.
But to me, what I laid out for you right there is plenty enough for me to see that there are games being played. Which means I’d be on my way in the other direction posthaste.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
Fair. Sometimes it can be good to be skeptical.
This, however, is not one of those times.
I’m not the one trying to pull the wool over your eyes here.
Go have another looky-loo at all the words above here. Pay close attention to the fictitious profiles bit. Maybe you missed it. All good. It happens.
There you go. Things are much brighter when that lightbulb goes on.
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
HookupAffair.com? Nope. Scam.
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