The Question
Guy who wants a little side action with a sexy señorita: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at HornyAffairs.com?”
Me: “HornyAffairs.com? Why, it’s as easy as honking a horn! Get it? Horn! I said horn because it’s in the word horny! See? Horn-y! Never mind. Anyway, first, all you gotta do is take a deep breath. Then say, I don’t know, how about ‘Beep beep’? Then when you’re done beeping, you fucking don’t!”
To clarify, Wile E. Coyote has a better chance of catching the Road Runner than anybody has of getting laid at HornyAffairs.com.
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with HornyAffairs.com?
Somehow it is just beyond sites like this to build a legit service that doesn’t take advantage of people. But I digress…
Ahem. What’s wrong with HornyAffairs?
Motherfucking fake members, fake profiles, and fake emails.
It’s always motherfucking fake members, fake profiles, and fake emails.
Tell me more, Frankie.
Oh boy. Looks like it’s deja vu all over again.
More sparkles getting sprinkled here.
But I want details!
No worries. I figured you would.
While I can assure you that I have already seen the term “sprinkle some sparkle” enough times to last me a lifetime, I can understand that most people probably haven’t.
Why haven’t they? Because most people don’t bother to read the ever-enlightening Terms and Conditions page on a website.
That said, allow me to save you the trouble…
In section I6 of the T&C on HornyAffairs.com we find the following bit of scamtacular nonsense:
In order to enhance your amusement experience, to stimulate you and others to use our Services more extensively, and to generally sprinkle some sparkle and excitement into the Services of HORNYAFFAIRS.COM, we may post fictitious profiles, generate or respond to communications by means of automated programs or scripts that simulate or attempt to simulate your intercommunication with another real human being (though none really exists and any dialog is generated by programming), and we may employ or contract for the paid services of real persons who may interact with you as part of their compensated employment.
Can you feel your excitement building at the prospect of fictitious profiles being sprinkled everywhere? Didn’t think so.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
Look, I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again…
I ain’t making this shit up, folks. We’re talking indisputably black and white here.
But as always, I’ll follow that up by saying, if you wanna go ahead and get scammed, ain’t nobody here gonna stop you.
Seriously though. Dude. “Fictitious profiles.”
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
HornyAffairs.com? Nope. Scam.
haf s feeling was going to b bullshit….should have listened to the gut not the dick..wasted money
Hey Frank.
Sucks about the wasted dough. Thanks for chiming in though and letting other dudes know what’s up. It’s appreciated.