The Question
Shrewd dude who wants to hook up with a hot housewife: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at HousewifeWanted.com?”
Me: “HousewifeWanted.com? Ahh, no trouble, my man. Just follow these simple instructions. First, you’re gonna wanna make yourself a sign. Like the kind you see when people picket. You know, piece of wood for the handle, big hunk of cardboard up top. That’s right. Now, on the cardboard part you want to write the following in big black letters: Housewife Wanted (for banging). If you’re so inclined, you can go the extra mile and draw a couple stick people doing the horizontal mambo, but it’s not necessary. Alright, now, armed with your kickass sign, go find any street that has houses on it. Once you’re on that street with all the houses, raise up the sign you made and slowly walk in a circle around you fucking don’t!”
Know what else is a circle? A zero. Which is exactly the number of housewives you’ll be hooking up with at HousewifeWanted.
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with HousewifeWanted.com?
Bacon. Lettuce. Tomato.
Those three things make a good goddamn sandwich.
Fake members. Fake profiles. Fake emails.
Those three things do not.
Guess which sandwich HousewifeWanted wants to feed you.
Trust me when I tell you that you don’t want to eat the second sandwich.
Tell me more, Frankie.
Sure, sure.
I’ll just leave this incredibly boring, yet scamtacular, term here: Company Generated Cupid Profiles.
Makes you wanna just jump right in, don’t it?
In case you’re wondering, that was a rhetorical question. The answer to which is no. No it does not.
But I want details!
You want ‘em? You got ‘em!
Not only that, I’m gonna tell you where to find ‘em!
Right on the ol’ terms and conditions page on the HousewifeWanted site itself.
Surprise, right?
No. And I’ll tell you why.
Its not a surprise because the terms and conditions page is the one place on any dating site where you have any chance at all of finding out if a site is trying to put one over on you. It’s where you have a chance to find out the truth.
And, by the way, the info you find on the terms page isn’t there out of the kindness of the site’s heart. That info is there to cover their own asses. But I digress.
Anyway, the terms page is unequivocally the first page you should go to on any dating site that you’re thinking of signing up to.
Wanna see what I’m talking about? Check this out…
Starting in Section 1:
www.housewifewanted.coms primary purpose is to provide an adult entertainment experience.
Entertainment, you say? I thought we were here to meet someone. Not be entertained.
Bad sign number one.
Continuing…
Company Generated Cupid Profiles (marked with “NOTE: a little C icon is here”) are created automatically for marketing, the improvement of the Service, and in order for our Registered Users to experience the type of communications that they can expect as paying Members. The Company Generated Cupid Profiles encourage conversation between members by making introductions or recommendations or just by chatting with Users, for entertainment purposes. From time to time, and in our sole and absolute discretion, Company Generated Cupid Profiles may be introduced with a designated symbol, which is the sign on every item of interaction of such a profile.
Here’s another fine tidbit for you:
You acknowledge and agree that some of the profiles posted on the Website that you may communicate with as a Registered User may be fictitious.
A little more, just because:
The user profiles we create are not intended to resemble or mimic any actual persons. We may create several different user profiles that we attach to a given picture. You understand and acknowledge that we create these profiles and that these profiles are not based on or associated with any Registered User or Member of our Service or any other real person.
Holy fuck. Unbelievable the balls on these sites.
Anyway, go read the rest if you want. But fuck. Wow.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
Sheeit. I ain’t even mad, see?
I am, however, incredulous.
That stuff I just showed you up there? All black and white, indisputable fact. Straight from the horse’s mouth, no less.
And, you know, when something is a fact, it’s not really open to being “not believed”. Know what I’m sayin’?
But hey, go ahead and insert your own reality. When you’re done, come on back and re-read what I showed you and we can pretend like this whole “not believing” thing never happened.
Cool? cool.
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
HousewifeWanted.com? Nope. Scam.
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