The Question
Friendly fella who wants to make nice with a friendly female: “Hey Frankie. How do I get laid at LocalSexFriends.com?”
Me: “LocalSexFriends.com? It’s a snap. Since the sexy-time friends you’re looking for are local, the first thing you have to do is go somewhere nearby. Maybe try your kitchen. That’s pretty local. Or the powder room. Also very local. Or your balcony, if you happen to have one. Hell, you could try your bedroom, if you’re really into wishful thinking. Really though, it doesn’t matter where you go because you fucking don’t!”
You may as well count the moon as local too, since there’s as much chance of you hooking up with someone in outer space as there is on LocalSexFriends.com.
But why, Frankie? What’s wrong with LocalSexFriends.com?
Well, my friends, here we have a phenomenon that’s commonly referred to as, “same shit, different pile.”
Meaning these guys use the same trio of scamminess that we’ve seen over and over again on other scamboozling sites.
What are the three things, you ask?
Fake members. Fake profiles. Fake emails.
Like I said, same shit, different pile.
Tell me more, Frankie.
New term alert! New term alert!
Time to add another bullshit term to the list. These guys use “Website Hosts” to pull their nonsense.
But I want details!
And I want to give them to you!
As per usual, let’s take a little jaunt over to the first place you should be stopping any time you’re thinking of signing up to one of these sites, the Terms and Conditions page.
Oh my goodness me! What ever do we see here?
Could it be talk of trickery? I do believe, I say, I do believe it is.
Here’s a piece of item 18.a. under the “Prohibitions” section:
Members understand, acknowledge, and agree that some of the user profiles posted on this Site may be fictitious, and are associated with to our Website Hosts, (“Hosts”).
And another tidbit from section 18.b. from the same section:
Members further understand, acknowledge, and agree that, from time-to-time, Hosts may contact both Members via computer-generated Instant Messages or emails for purposes of encouraging further or broader participation in our Site’s services and/or to monitor user activity.
I want to say I’m not even surprised anymore, but really, every time I see a site talk about their fictitious profiles, I’m shaking my head all over again. It baffles me every single time just how scammy these fuckers can be.
I don’t believe you, Frankie!
I believe what Mr. Cent is saying is, “Good luck with that.”
While I agree with his sentiment, I can’t just drive away and leave you in your state of denial.
So, in addition to saying, “Good luck with that,” I am also saying, “Come on, man! Read the wooooords!”
Fic-ti-tious. That means fake. Imaginary. Make-believe. They are literally telling you they use fictitious profiles.
This is the part where the lightbulb above your head lights up and you go, “Ohhh, thanks!”
Of course, if there’s no bulb, and no light, and playing in make-believe-land doesn’t bother you, then have at it. Enjoy your puppet show while the rest of us, uh, don’t.
So how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Sign up to a legit dating site.
Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who want to get laid. No bullshit attached. No scams.
TL;DR
LocalSexFriends.com? Nope. Scam.
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