Good day, gentlemen.
Let’s get right to it, shall we?
Online dating. Now this is the shit. A modern day Shangri-La where millions of women are telling you, in no uncertain terms, that they want to get it on. Do the deed. Dance the horizontal mambo. Ride the slip and slide. I could go on.
The point is, online dating gives you a head start in the getting laid department. You can simply contact women who have specifically stated what they want. No guessing, no head games. It’s the Holy Grail of hookups.
The trouble is you’re not the only one who knows this.
These days, most guys know that dating sites, like the ones listed here, are a veritable smorgasbord of available women. And that means loads of bozos are on there looking for the same thing you are.
Sounds bad, right?
Wrong.
In fact, it’s not bad at all. It’s opportunity.
So many jackasses bumbling around on these sites gives you the opportunity to easily stand apart. To easily distinguish yourself from the crowd.
This is how easy it is:
Imagine a wall full of photos. Each photo is a picture of a ball. Every ball in every picture is gray. Except one. That one is red. Which one is going to stand out? Exactly. The red one.
All you have to do is be the red ball.
“Okay, okay. Fuck, Frankie. I get it. How the fuck do I be the red ball?”
Well, I’m glad you asked. So nicely too.
I’m sure you’re not going to be surprised when I tell you that there are tons of things that can impact how successful you are on a dating/hookup site. BUT only one of those things can be a game-changer right from the get-go.
What is that thing? What is that one thing that is going to set you apart from all the other dudes who are looking for hookup partners?
Your profile!
Think about it. The first representation of yourself on any dating site, before any actual communication with anybody, is your profile.
You may have heard before how you only get one chance to make a first impression? Your profile is that chance, so make it good!
3 Tips That Will Set You Apart from the Riff-Raff
Here, in no particular order, are my top 3 tips to creating an awesome profile that will put you miles ahead of every other knucklehead who posts a picture of his junk and thinks that will reel in every hot woman from here to the moon.
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Seriously. Don’t make your profile pic a shot of your wiener.
We all get it. You have a ding-dong. And you want to make sure everybody knows that you have a ding-dong.
Guess what? Even without your majestic member giving everyone who happens onto your profile the old one-eyed, non-blinking salute, they already know you’re packing something down there.
Want to know what works better than Mr. Johnson? How about a smile?
That’s right. Just upload a nice photo of you flashing your pearly whites. Simple.
This way, you look like a reasonable human being that someone might actually want to hook up with instead of a crazy-overcoat-flasher-guy who leads with his hammer.
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Is this real life? No, it’s easier.
Easier than real life?
“Frankie,” you say. “Please explain.”
Why, I’d be happy to.
Being online allows us a bit of a buffer zone. It gives us a certain level of anonymity that allows us to express ourselves and say things we might not normally say.
While many guys choose to use this as an excuse to be a complete turd, you can use it to your advantage by being a little more honest than you might feel you can be in “real life.”
So, tip number 2 is, be upfront and honest about what you’re looking for.
If you just want something casual, say you just want something casual. You just want a hookup? Say you just want a hookup.
See? It’s easy!
This way, you’re not wasting anybody’s time (including your own) by pretending to want something that you really don’t, AND you’re showing women checking out your profile that you’re honest and not into games. Win-win.
Here’s a little bonus tip for you that goes along with the “being anonymous” part of this…
Don’t be a fucking pig.
Being able to say whatever you want online and feeling more comfortable doing it because you’re essentially anonymous is great for being honest and upfront. It does not mean you want to be a super-disgusting pervo who says shitty, abusive, or predatory things. Not only will that not work, it makes you a shitty piece of shit shithead. Don’t be a shitty piece of shit shithead.
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Be the ant, not the grasshopper.
“Seriously? First, balls. Now bugs? What the fuck are you talking about now, Frankie?”
Take it easy. I’m getting there. Right now, it’s story time.
The story goes like this:
There’s an ant and a grasshopper. The ant is a hard worker and spends all summer collecting food for the winter, while the grasshopper just chills with all the other lazy-ass grasshoppers. When winter comes, the ant is all pimped out and eats like a boss, but the grasshopper gets left out in the cold like a chump with no food and no prospects.
What’s the point? The point is tip number 3.
Make an effort.
Don’t be the guy who has a profile title that just says “Hi” and an intro that says “Nice to meet you.”
Instead, be the guy who puts some thought into his title.
Be the guy who puts a little of his personality into his write-up.
When you make an effort with your profile write-up, even a little goes a long way.
You don’t have to turn it into a book or anything. Just spend a little bit of time writing something that shows you’re not a lazy-ass grasshopper. Let it flow. Be creative. Be funny. Be absurd. Whatever. Be something.
I’ll tell you right now that you’ll have a better profile write-up than 95% of all the other dudes out there if you just spend that extra bit of time.
Why is this even important?
Because the bottom line is this…
If a woman sees that you’re too lazy to bother making an effort with your profile, she’s going to think you’re lazy in everything else that you do. She’s simply going to move on. There’s nothing interesting about a lazy ass.
’Nuff said.
TL;DR
Alright, if you read all the way down to here, good for you. If you’re a no-attention-span motherfucker and just zoomed on down here for the recap, no sweat. Either way, here’s the short version of how you get laid at online dating sites.
- Make your profile pic a nice shot of your smiling mug. Stop with the dick pics, for fuck’s sake!
- Be honest and upfront about what you’re looking for. Being online allows you to cut through the regular tippy-toe bullshit of meeting someone in “real life.” Be straight up yourself, so women can be straight up with you.
- Make an effort when you write your profile title and introduction. How you do anything is how you do everything. If you’re a lazy ass here, a woman will know that you’ll be a lazy ass everywhere. Don’t be a lazy ass.
Lastly, what dating site should you choose? Click here and check out the sites I’ve listed. Sign up to one of those sites and you’ll find loads of women who have signed up for the exact same reason as you: They just want to get laid. No bullshit attached.
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